One of the seemingly good ideas was to include mom in family activities. So, all last week, we were on a road trip to see a couple of the grandchildren and two of mom’s three great-grandchildren. There was no easy way to travel so we packed a lot of gear, made sure mom was comfortable and took to the road.
In hindsight, our goal was laudable. In this time, when mom is still physically able and she can still identify family members, we would make sure the family could spend some time with her. And, of course the fancy that mom just may enjoy herself and her extended family.
We were not entirely wrong but the week was trying and created more hardship for all of us – much more than we ever anticipated. I feel like I did not read my own writing or that any of my research seeped through my brain. I wanted for some of what the “experts” said to be slightly off. I wanted for our situation to be an exception rather than the rule. What I wanted was something no one could give mom – a chance to break through the connection that is hopelessly lost and for even a few minutes, to have our mother back.
I have to say the great-grandchildren enjoyed their great-grandmother though mentally and emotionally, she acted their age instead of hers. She pouted, fussed, worried, and didn’t sleep a wink until our trek home. Oh, and “home”? That is a strange word to her because she has no idea exactly where “home” is. Home is where there is some routine, where things are familiar and there is little to process. The verdict is – no more road trips – we are staying home.